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Why God Doesn't Need You As King Of The Mountain

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“How do you do it?!”

“I could never do what you do.”

“I feel sorry for you!”

That last one always gets me. Instant pity from random strangers due to the number and gender of my children. Yep. Four. Four teenage daughters. 

Thank you for reminding me. 

The amount I spent on health & beauty products at Wal-Mart last week had suddenly slipped my mind.

“Yes, yes I’m single mom.”

“Yes, thank you. I know I don’t look old enough. I’m working on my aging skills.”

“No, their dad lives across the country.”

“Oh, that’s funny… no one has ever told me they would live across the country too if they had four teen daughters.”

Okay, maybe that last one is what I say in my head while I gently offer a fake smile and make a quick getaway. There are always follow-up questions to validate their pity… as if they need me to believe the situation I face is difficult. I mean, after all, my plight as a parent is beyond what should be fair or doable, right? Right?

Truth is I’m floating, spinning, and sometimes drowning in a sea of estrogen. Emotions are splattered across every day. 

Personalities collide, crash, and sometimes explode in the middle of my living room–sometimes over who finished the chocolate milk or whose turn it is to load the dishwasher. 

My hostage negotiation skills were perfected during the elementary years when toys were bargaining chips in the great climb to sibling power. 

And to top it all off–the past year or so, our country has looked and sounded like my living room on the worst week of the month. 

Identity has become a measurement of what makes me different from you instead of what makes me uniquely who I am.

Hundreds of classifications all shouting their definitions of what is truth and what is right in the power struggle of our generation.

Each one looking toward their goal of being King of the Mountain–the one truth that convinces all other truths that it is RIGHT.

“I NEVER act like that twoards her!”

“She’s A LIAR!”

"Just WAIT tilt he next time you're not home and I take YOUR stuff!"

In living room gladiator battles, there is no concern for justice, only revenge & self-validation. Sometimes, not even all my years of counselor training can bring the gladiators to the realization that shouting louder than the person next to you doesn’t make you “righter” than them.

Sound familiar?

Maybe you’ve seen those tactics on Facebook, television, or Twitter recently.

People who share your label of Christian whacking others in the face while believing they’ll make people follow Christ by telling them how much He disapproves of their lifestyle. 

Perhaps we have interpreted the commandment to go and make disciples in the same manner my older daughter would view my request to make sure her sister loads the dishwasher and takes a shower–through multiple threats, yelling the loudest, and tackling.

If all else fails, she resorts to a demonstration of sheer power, steals the iPad from her sister's hands and holds it high above her reach until she gives. 

After all, why find common ground when you can be King of the Mountain? 

And then I begin to think–what if we have approached God's commandment to make disciples in the same way?

We don't trust the Holy Spirit to do His work in the hearts of people, we have to MAKE them believe. And rather than sowing the investment of pure love and demonstration of the Gospel, we do it through yelling louder and demonstrations of sheer power. I mean, we are a Christian nation, right? We can just create laws that will force people to comply. 

Why let Jesus be King of their heart when I'm doing such a good job of it?

Rather than letting others be changed by the fruit of our lives, we focus in on forcing them to change the fruit of their lives. 

Not only is Jesus our King, but God has characterized Himself as our Father.

He wants us to know Him and relate Him as a good Father, the perfect Father. His desire is that we become Him to the world–fathers and mothers being fruitful and multiplying. 

How different would evangelism be if we realized we are helping new babies be birthed into the Kingdom of God & not as capturing prisoners of war?

If so, then discipleship becomes more about feeding the new babies milk to help them grow rather than training the captured to regurgitate the doctrine of the day.

Becoming a parent happens when who I am partners with who someone else is, and a seed is sown into another human being. However, maturing as a parent doesn't come through the changing of my child, but through the changing of me. 

When I partner with God and allow Him to form Christ in me, fruit is manifest in my life.

When I intentionally allow the Holy Spirit to work through me to minister to those that do not believe, I am taking the seeds of the fruit that God has developed in me and planting them into the soil of another person. I can water the seed, but Holy Spirit does the internal work in their heart.

As new life is birthed in them through my partnership with Holy Spirit, it becomes my honor to lovingly disciple this new baby in Christ. 

When my daughters were babies, I nursed them with milk that was produced from the food I had eaten. As they grew, they were able to eat food that was not processed through my system.

In time, I taught them how to eat & how to feed themselves with food I had prepared (These were the Naked Years—I spent too much money on cute clothes to let them eat food in them). 

Adolescence hit (like a wrecking ball, y’all) and it was time to teach them how to prepare food for themselves because honestly, I’m tired and I ain’t cooking dinner for adults.

A popular meal in my house is turkey tacos--easy, yummy, healthy for us. However, if I had fed my infant turkey tacos, she would have choked and died. She would not have been able to swallow or process what was nourishing to me. 

One day, my daughters will choose their own menus, buy their own groceries, prepare their own meals, and feed their own children.... and multiplication is born. Not because I forced it to happen, but because growth & reproduction naturally happens in healthy families where we have submitted to the maturing process.

Maybe, just maybe, this is what Jesus meant when He said make disciples. Maybe God just wants a family. It's the sweet spot of walking in truth & love and not forsaking either. 

This is the sea and the time in which God has placed us, friends.

A time of brokenness, a time of struggle, a time of passionate division, a time ripe for the miraculous.

It may not seem fair… and it certainly feels difficult, but you were born for such a time as this.

Addiction, identity crises, a seeming sea of darkness. YET, if God has placed you in this sea in this moment of time, then not only can you navigate it, but you CAN establish His kingdom in it.

We must change the way we view evangelism and discipleship. It can no longer be about who yells the loudest or who can make the most laws that create our moral code.

God's creativity and ability to impact the human soul extends far beyond the demonstration of sheer power to be King of the Mountain. He could do that all by Himself... yet He has chosen to partner with us. Don't throw away your ability to be salt and light to the world. 

Walk humbly with Christ and focus on him maturing you, not controlling the maturity of someone else. Make people feel love, not lashed out at. 

This is my official resignation as a King of the mountain... I'd rather be a daughter & a mom. ❤️

- Tomiah